Saturday, August 27, 2016

Messed Up Shit



David Choe's dirty style art

(From the Giant Robot exhibit at the Oakland Museum of Art)




Looking somewhat respectable?

___________


Finally got to the gym after being away for too long

and it felt great to finally get a real sweat on.

Felt like a caged animal running for freedom.

Not great was that awful old timer compulsively clearing his throat-

I think it was some kind of OCD thing.

So fucking gross.

Hope I never hear him again.

Don't know how much Brooklyn I can control.

________


This weekend has been one event to the next 

and I'm losing my shit.

Plus why the hell am I eating my feels?

When did competitive eating become part of my to-do list?

Really need a better life list.

Also need to calm the fuck down.

_______

In my daily exasperation, I tend to make up words,

slur, get things all confused and 

speak part gibbon and part human.

Really need a super strength downer

followed by a pep pill

because I need to hit the gym again.

_________

Can't stand all this driving back and forth

taking kid from one place to another.

Had to get out of jeans and into pj pants.

Can't stand how my jeans ride a little low on my waist.

Keep pulling them up.

Damn, even with pants on

I still can't bend with ease.

What is the fucking point?

#keepingpantiesprivate

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Purple Haze


This is the sky I kiss


(photo courtesy of Pinterest of my neighborhood)

_______


I am beat but I am fighting sleep because I'm stupid that way.

Just trying to claim a little "me" time.

Been feeling incredibly petulant with a chip on my shoulder all day long.

Not a nice combo.

No Happy Meal for me-

just triggered happy.

(Plus being in a relationship right now feels a little like Sisyphus and his most annoying rock.)

Did I mention, driving the kids back and forth has really been taxing to my nerves?

Really wish we could move closer to civilization

and have things within walking distance:

friends, school, trains, shops.

Happy to forsake purple haze for sanity.


_______


And now a rant inspired by Mr. Robot.

Scene: Angela is in the bar and she bumps into an old acquaintance.

The guy viciously rags on Angela for her life choices

and throws in some line about

"it's hard to swallow, but then again you know all about swallowing."

Whoa buddy

don't pull that shit on any woman.

First of all-

all guys fucking dream crave love girls that swallow

and they should be FLATTERED anyone is drinking their spunk

because in case they didn't know

it's not a fucking swig of maple syrup.

Second of all-

the puritans are long dead

(and besides, we all know they are just a bunch of fornicating hypocrites.)

Consensual adult sex is no longer a crime

and anyone trying to shame women because of it

should dress themselves up like the

Quaker Oatmeal man and live in a damp cave by himself.

Lastly,

people need to grow the fuck up.

Imagine women shaming men for being

Vagina Vultures or Labia Lapdogs.

Ridiculous, right?

The whole concept is juvenile.

People who sex-shames obviously have no life.

Jealous non-fuckers.

_______

Okay that was enough ranting.

Good night










Wednesday, August 24, 2016

When All Else Fails



Wear some pretty lipstick and smell nice

_______


Dead effing tired (delirious)

and I have to go to a meeting for my daughter's JV volleyball team.

Grrrrr...

Hot trash,

it's suppose to be an hour long meeting.

(WTF?)

Go team go, kick ass, whatevs.

Must pump myself up

(better arm the car with some good music)

and PLAY NICE.

 I would like to arm myself with

gummy colas

but I'm trying to be good again.

If I had superpowers I would hit the gym hard tonight

but I'm a mere mortal.

:(

________


Interview #2 this morning and it went well

so I've got interview #3 (!!!) next week.

And hopefully no interviews needed after that.

Seriously people...

Power pose here I come!

______

Nice:



Damn straight

__________


The Myth of Orpheus and Eurydice:

courtesy of Gucci 

(BTW LOVE some of these outfits...really must get skinny for fuckssakes!!!!)




And what is the moral of the story?

If you are going to retrieve your beloved from Hell

play by Hades rules

because you can only lose her once.




Word.

______


Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Who do I thank?


Here are some winners courtesy of Pinterest:



Fuck ya!



ha

LOVELOVELOVE



Brilliant

Already texted 

______


OMG

this annoying bug

buzzing around my ear is going to make me go

BANNER


(What's up with Bruce Banner's pants btw? Talk about incredibly stretchy pants.)

_______

Have a great day all!




Magical Thinking



Believe in magic.

I do.

_______

As I wait for a call, here's a hug.


_________


Trying to spread a little joy and mystery this afternoon.

Life can be so lackluster at times

and then I think

better shake things up

and 

make good use of what I got

(heart mind body)

because 

it's the right thing to do.

Plus everyone needs a little playfulness at times.


-Spoken like a true Gemini.


_______


Let's see...


Halsey is really so fucking good

hair is getting long and wild again

wearing jeans with heels because I can't stand looking dowdy

 life at 45

still in love with good stimulating conversations and belly laughs
________


The first kiss is over

but butterflies in the stomach

is forever


Keep chasing the dream!




Sunday, August 21, 2016

Pursuits


Me in jeans.


Surprisingly for "hot trash mommy" my family approves of this look.

(Hubby, giving me the once over in the car: "I like you in jeans.")

Me: Ummm, okay. Still on the fence because it's pants after all.

 But aren't my shoes cute?

I think so.

______


Me (too old to be shopping) at Urban Outfitters:

Me: Where can I find boyfriend jeans?

UO: Oh I don't think we carry them anymore.

Me: Oh that's too bad. I don't do skinny jeans.

UO: Did you see our selection of mom jeans downstairs?

Me: Grrrrrrr......

______

Can't believe the summer is almost over

and unlike previous summers

I haven't felt the need to stab my left atrium with a rusty blade (yet).

Still jobless which isn't surprising

since I've been job hunting as much as I have been exercising.

(sporadic and in jerk-like movements?)

Really need to get back on that financial bandwagon

since my "Sugar Daddy" ain't having it anymore.

(yes, we had that talk today...)

Sadly, me as "Sugar Baby" isn't a temp to perm position.

(I've clearly made some very wrong life choices.)


_________


LOVE!!!!




Must die if I already haven't died yet.


Grasshopper stapler?
Babe you know me so well.

______

ENJOY:

"From Eden" 

Hozier
Babe, there's something tragic about you
Something so magic about you
Don't you agree?

Babe, there's something lonesome about you
Something so wholesome about you
Get closer to me

No tired sighs, no rolling eyes, no irony
No 'who cares', no vacant stares, no time for me

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Babe, there's something wretched about this
Something so precious about this

[Live version inclusion:
Where to begin

Babe, there's something broken about this
But I might be hoping about this.]


Oh, what a sin

To the strand a picnic plan for you and me
A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago
Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword
Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to hide outside your door


and a little flashback to one of my favorites



About a boy (who had a mad crush on me)


Saving this pic for my latest LinkedIn Tinder * profile

*should I ever need to go that route.**

**hoping I don't ever have to.***

***because I prefer picking up guys the good old fashion way.****

****in bars, coffee shops, grocery store aisles and random elevators.

_______


Once upon a time

there was a young 

carefree and vibrant* girl

who met a impressionable young boy

while they were both far, far away from home.

They quickly became fun-loving liking friends.

Then one day the boy confessed he really wanted to get into her pants.**

The girl was already taken and so she simply dangled herself like a pretty carrot.

Tsk, tsk...

Years come and go and with the help of 

SOCIAL MEDIA

they mildly reconnect for some cordial hellos.

And guess what?

The boy grows up to be wildly successful in his field,

the girl listens to his NEA podcast about his major accomplishment

and

there's nothing left to dangle.

The end.






*aka wild and stupid?
**wild embellishment. I think it was more like "I like you A LOT-LOT."

________


So sleepy

Can't fight it anymore

Wishing you a nighty night


______