Friday, October 2, 2015

Strutting My Stuff

From the fashionable desk of Melanie:

You can never go wrong with all black, high heels and a Wonder Woman cuff.


Today regardless of falling down on a moving escalator

(running for train, ate it hard, but I still made it on time!)

and now hobbling along in the office

I feel rather springy.

Pep in my step as a matter of fact.

It must be a Friday thing.


Helping out a fellow colleague do something I honestly love and am good at-

organizing his stuff!

I think being a professional organizer might be my calling-

regardless what my husband may say!


Looking forward to cleaning the house

(and then enjoying the shit out of it all weekend long!)


Drinking stea


marathon crafting!


One Shoulder Lace Splicing Long Sleeve T-Shirt:

Ummm...heck yeah!


weekend to-do list.:


It's my mantra!



I think she loves me.

(all images courtesy of Pinterest)

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Burn and sizzle

From the inquisitive desk of Melanie:

Oh I meant exquisite.

Ha. Ha.

No-not even.


What's your feeling about Facebook?

Has it become a popular verb in your world?

Let's Facebook?

I'm still a bit ambiguous about the whole thing-

sorta like this blog

which will eventually bite me in the ass.

The whole '"friend me" thing can weird me out.

What if I don't want to friend you?

Does that make me a snob?


Perfectly normal and just?

I find it odd that

lukewarm acquaintances from many Christmas pasts want to invite me into their lives.

Old flames that didn't cause much of a sparkle to begin with all of a sudden show up on my virtual doorstep.

Why the sudden curiosity?

Are they trying to make me feel some kind of sting?

This could have been all yours loser

(insert photo of kids, career and nice vacations)

or do they want to see if I ballooned?


tiny braid & half bun ❤️:

On my to-hairdo list.


moss tree house images - Google Search:


this hobo Boho tree house.



Fair maiden!

Princess Bride!

Okay I'm so copying this look

Renaissance Faire or not.


Coffee | Typography by Tomasz Biernat, via Behance:


Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Managing the Unmanageable

From the rather ho hum desk of Melanie:

Same old thing but only fatter.


So, what's up with my daily-ish 

"From the --- desk of Melanie"


shameless selfie?


One: I always liked those old school office pads that said

"From the desk of ---- -----"

They looked so sharp and official


Two: I don't like seeing the same old picture of the editor in any periodical.

I mean, it's the same pose, same clothes, same staged set up.

Who wants to see that all the time?

Not me, and hopefully not you.


The other day we had a family talk

and although I didn't feel like everyone was 

ganging up on me (too much)

it still hurt a bit.

My thin skin (the only thing "thin" about me damnit!)

makes me such a crybaby.


Well things I learned:

My kids perceive me as awkward

thus my interaction with their friends should be limited.

It's different out west.

So my very candid, open approach isn't aligned with the culture out here. 

Really-best to shut up.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Nice Unpleasantries

From the confessional desk of Melanie:

Can't wait until closing time!


I like how disheveled I look here.

Maybe the word is 'haggard"?

Well, at least I don't smell--I promise!

It looks like I should be at a bar getting hammered.



Not going to talk about Back to School Night except

all went well

until I said

"I wish I brought my rape whistle"

in the presence of my Hubby 


my daughter's Physics teacher 

as we were walking back to our cars through a 

very dark parking lot.

She didn't find the humor in it at all.


Yeah, not one of my finer moments.

And I wasn't even hammered.



Going to go home

change into my "home clothes" 

slap together some dinner

wrestle one of the kids for a good spot on the couch

and watch hours of tv regretfully.



Thursday, September 24, 2015

Going for Gold!

From the cringe-worthy desk of Melanie:

Well as promised I'm dressed middleweight* inappropriate.

It's Back to School Night tonight.

Since I've been told (scolded?) by Hubby

I can be off-putting to my fellow

private high schooler parents

I figure I am just going to have to run with it

and go for gold.

(Bratty much?)


Could I try and conform

to fit in their neat little preppy upper class ways?

Well, my beat up dirty SUV would be a dead give away that I'm an outsider-

plus I lack orange Tory Burch loafers.

It's also obvious I'm a non-blonde.

And I don't color away my grey.

Plus I'm not a stick figure.

(Never stepped foot into a Pilates gym.)

I don't have a giant diamond atrocity on my finger-

just a big ass skull that wears mouse ears.

And the only ladders I have ever climbed

are step ladders 

to paint a wall.

The only way I could possibly fit in with most of these folks

is to be their personal assistant.

Hired help.

Nah, I think I'm good.

Smile, wink and make people (Hubby?) uncomfortable.

It's the least I can do.

*skirt length hits the knee so not slowing too much. Still not going to brush my hair.


According to a lame internet quiz

my spirit animal is a deer.

Image result for deer


I was thinking more like wombat.


To the straight guy wearing red pants the other day.

I wore red pants in elementary school.

Girl--that outfit was cute, but if you are going to wear a short skirt

don't tuck in your shirt.

It gives you an unnecessary tummy and shortens your torso.

Lady with all those silly cartoony tattoos-

clearly you have bad judgment.

Consider wearing sleeves for the


To the woman with the Dorothy Hamill hairstyle

 wearing green eyeshadow and brick red lipstick-



Wednesday, September 23, 2015


 From the boho-inspired desk of Melanie:

I look very 1970ish in this picture.

All I need is a little peach lip gloss and fringed suede boots (ooohhhh).


Too tired to think.

Actually REALLY tired.

Coffee isn't working.


 I'll let you do most of all the talking:


Oh good.

You don't say?


And he was doing what?


Fucking impressive.

You are my hero.


He requires structure.

I require a bit of anarchy.

Aren't I in a pickle?


cat ♥:

Oh dear God.


Banksy opens up his own amusement park?

How fan-tas- SICK.


Tuesday, September 22, 2015

You're so pretty the way you are

From the casually nostalgic desk of Melanie:

Remember the Irish band "The Cranberries"?

Whatever happened to them?

They had some really pretty songs, like




They seem to be a very big deal in the 90's

-just like the fruit?


I guess they should have picked a better fruit.


Here is my semi-weekly (daily?) rant about the unfashionably dressed.

Wearing hosiery with open toe sandals should be a crime against humanity.

Okay--maybe that was a little harsh.

It's just kind of awful looking.

Don't do it.

And for goodness sakes--knee high stockings in sandalwood 

with a mid-length skirt?

Oh dear.

I'm sorry-but that should be a misdemeanor or at least 

a ticketable offense.

Speaking of skirts...

It takes a certain amount of style and know-how to pull off a maxi skirt.

Best to take baby steps.

No need to jump into intermediate if you can't pass the remedial stuff.

Also if you have an exceptionally LARGE forehead

I highly recommend bangs.

Even Tyra Banks came to her senses.

And if you are extremely BIG in the waistline

be mindful of the kind of jeans you wear.

Today I saw a woman with the biggest kangaroo pouch wear big ass mom jeans.

I made a shriek louder than a fucking hyena.


Are you enjoying my posts of nothingness and is it helping your life?

Does it tickle your fancy or

leave you with an annoying tickle in the back of your throat?


que gato tan tierno aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ooooooooooooooooooo uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu lindo:

So cute my guts hurt.