Monday, September 26, 2016

Let me rant a bit


If you vote for Trump

Just leave please

________


Not sure if you watched the presidential debate, but man, did it make my skin crawl.

Trump.

My God, what a loser.

Did he REALLY blame the horrific police violence towards black men on Obama?

What has the world become?

It's a mockery actually.

Shakespeare once wrote

"...it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing."

__________


We might have a similar name

Melanie

Melania

but I'm here legally.

Donald, why don't you deport her since you're so anti-immigration?

#DonaldDuckforPres

________


One last jab 

Tell your son to leave Skittles alone.

Love how you got schooled by the company:

Skittles are candy.

Refugees are people.

#TrumpFuckingMorons






Saturday, September 24, 2016

Stay Wild


Despite looking like a suburban Mommy,

there are ugly skulls on my shirt.

(scored at Thrift Town from some community concert at Shelbyville, Kentucky)

Note on artwork: I treated myself to this wooden piece for some occasion-


where people with various disabilities can express themselves through art

The studio is amazing

and I love how my artist is inspired by characters from

her favorite telenova

______


I'm all for a little cosmetic trickery

but this movement of heavy contouring is a bit insane.

Serious amount of paint on such young girls faces

and it all seems unnecessary.

Too many Kim clones.

Stop the madness and be your beautiful true self girls!


wtf?
Pinterest

___________

Hard to remain optimistic with life

because things can suck badly

but then I look at this cat


and I'm in love all over again.

________

Need to shake things up--

a new look

new attitude

new something

Married for 20 years now

maybe it is high time I do something

CRAZY

or remotely fun



_________




Friday, September 23, 2016

Deflated


Do I look like hell?

Why yes I do.

______


Well guess who got royally fucked by a recruiter?

Ironic of course, because he is DICKLESS.

Damn.

So over this.

What a fucker. 

And fuck you to his cunty boss.

Wasted so much time and energy

and only walked away sadly with a broken heart.


____________


So I raged, cried, and got back on the job search bandwagon

And now I feel lower than low.

Feels like this rabbit hole of depression has some more miles to go.

Something tells me

there's no mattress waiting to cushion the fall.

Looks like I need to Craigslist my kidney.

Any takers?


____________






Wednesday, September 21, 2016

All Things Unholy




Oh yikes

Despite how I look
I am freshly showered

______


I may be unemployed like FOREVER
but I shouldn't be reprimanded too badly.

I'm making a pot roast (YUMMY)
I'm doing laundry
I scrubbed the kids' bath tub
And I dropped a little weight.

Ta-da

I'm not a useless piece of hot trash after all.

_________

Ugh

Waiting for Big Company

to send me my offer letter

is a nightmare.

Hubby is losing patience with me.

I need to bring home a paycheck

Or else guess who is selling an organ?

And I don't mean the church kind either.

______


The BIG 20th anniversary is a week away

How lame would I be if I buy hubby a Dyson vacuum?

He really wants one.

I'm suppose to be working soon

so tongue piercing is out of the question

_______

Just rewatched some scenes of 

Beast of the Southern Wild

Man, what a good movie.

Not that I want to live that way

but Holy Cow

that scrappiness is kinda my styles.


Monday, September 19, 2016

Today's Weather Report


Good enough will do.

__________

Flag football

Volleyball

Math circle

Robotics league

It's a whirlwind of activities

and I'll I'm doing is chauffeuring

and baking banana bread.

Nobel Prize Winner

and Mother of the Year

I am not.

_______


Theory:

slow drivers are terrified of getting deported.

Theory:

when I'm angry

Mario Andretti 

becomes my spirit animal

Theory:

I need to learn how to wear fat well.

Theory:

All the art I am busy making will only ever be appreciated

by one special someone

(me)

__________

Just going to ramble on and shoot the shit as I wait for my

fucking offer letter

(damnit!)

and

the laundry to finish.

This Indian Summer is beautiful

but man it's like toasty out there.

So toasty I'm dreading raking up the leaves

and being a productive member of society.

_______

Utensils:

Stick a fork in me, cuz I'm done

A knife in the back

Spoon me babe

You're confusing and somewhat redundant like a spork*



* Yeah, I made that one up.

________

Okay that was enough wasting of your time.

Go on and be successful.

Run along.



Saturday, September 17, 2016

Impossibilities


Unconditional love

a clean slate

a sexy physique

_________

So I have this thing--a struggle, with maximalism and minimalism.

Wanting more

and then wanting nothing.

More knick-knacks

followed by less clutter.

Apparently I cannot make up my mind.

Maybe I want it all.

Which is the same with my love life.

I want freedom but I want love.

I want to be my bat-shit crazy self and be adored.

I want to adore but not with someone who is bat-shit crazy.

I want what is impossible.

I want to make it possible.

I want what I want.

But I can't have it all.

_________


I have a thing about REACTING quickly.

I can't seem to do calm under pressure.

And the man I am with has a serious problem with that.

Which means

I'm in the dog house yet again.

Ruff

_______


I sometimes read the Missed Connection column in Craigslist.

I just swoon over some of missed love ads.

Saw you on Wednesday.

2:30 in the afternoon

You were driving a minivan...

You dressed really slutty...

______

If you read this and think kindly of me

then 

wish me a happy hello

because I need it.

Thank you.

xo
Melanie

Friday, September 16, 2016

Burning



Despite the smile

I'm in Hell.

______

Tonight is becoming shitter by the second.

Ummm

Can you say

DOUCHEBAG

and

FUCK FUCK FUCK

real loud?

Go on, do it for me.

 Life can suck eggs

Make that ostrich eggs

ostrich eggs with a flaming case of herpes.*




 * just a metaphor--I'm STD free thank the good Lord.

_______


Start a fire

Disturb the peace

Pee on my neighbor's lawn

Run red lights

Make fun of ugly children

Eat like shit

Develop an eating disorder

Watch porn

Go streaking

Run away

Join a roller derby team



--just listing some of my options

________