Fashion statement of the day:
I would be completely appropriate if only I was going to a bar.
It's Open House at school tonight
and although I like any other normal parent, want to fawn over my son's STELLAR art work
and hear a stream of accolades about my WONDERFUL son,
my anti-social self really has little desire to hobnob with faculty and
play nice with fellow parents.
I would rather take enormous swigs from a flask around my neck
and nap in the teacher's lounge.
Of course I will behave myself since I'm not a complete fuck up even if
I dress punk-rock lite and adorn myself with slightly inappropriate accoutrements
(i.e. red lips smoking necklace)
Consider it a form of self-
Must not turn into a mental midget while unemployed and home alone
Must not get addicted to eating, pornography, QVC, and Latin soap operas
Must not take naps every day
unless it's absolutely well enjoyed and deserved
Must try and will myself to the gym tomorrow
Must not flirt with strangers or pick up hitchhikers
Must find a way to curb my evil ways